


It Gets Easier

by Bramblepelt



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, M/M, coping with that sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9985997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bramblepelt/pseuds/Bramblepelt
Summary: Magnus has a question for Brad.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So SOME PEOPLE who are REALLY GREAT at RUINING ME went on a rampage against my FEELINGS. So I made this in return.

“I have to say Magnus, I was surprised you wanted to hang out with someone pretty dull like me,” Brad said light heartedly, handing Magnus a cold glass bottle freshly opened, “But I’m glad for the opportunity to get to know a coworker better.” he smiled.

 

“I wouldn’t say dull, Brad, more like eeehhhh….buzz-killing.” Magnus accepted the bottle and took a long gulp. It was hoppier than your average tavern tankard, with some light sweetness and a hint of orange peel.

 

“That’s fair.” Brad shrugged his shoulders, “When you’re the one tasked with enforcing the rules you tend to forget the fun in breaking them.” Condensation was quickly accumulating on the glass in reaction to the uncomfortable warmth in the recreation room. All the lights were on, making the area uncomfortably bright as if it were the middle of the afternoon and not nine at night. Magnus had expected the room to not be so empty. He was hoping for maybe a background chatter or mild distraction or something that didn’t make this feel like such an intimate meeting. The quiet surrounding the two of them alone at the wooden table made the anxious thoughts in his head ring loudly. 

 

“So, why did you want to meet, Magnus? I assume you had a specific agenda item in mind.” Brad asked. Magnus could feel the uncomfortable wood grain poking at his arms and had an overwhelming desire to run to his workshop and grab some sandpaper. Maybe give the table a new coat of stain while he was at it. Anything to kill the moment he’d gone and created. He shoved his hand in his pants pocket and fidgeted with the thick cardstock he’d brought. He’d hoped he’d have more small talk to give, maybe down a couple more bottles before getting to the meat of the matter, but things were not going in the way he’d hoped. Best to rip off the bandage and get it over with.

 

He slammed the beer back first. Sometimes rushing in required a bit of extra fuel. He pulled the paper from his pocket, a very classy off white background with silver details around the border. The message, lovingly hand written in the center, was in a dark purple ink. The corner caught Brad’s eye immediately,the crashing of his mood was palpable. A polite social smile and neutral gaze had transitioned into furrowed brows and a barely concealed frown. His skin appeared to go a shade slightly lighter green than normal. Magnus felt washed over with regret. This was stupid and inconsiderate and rude. But he was already here so what the hell.

 

“I uh, I found this at Carey’s. In her room. Carey and Killian’s room. It was in a drawer? I was trying to find some glue and I found this? It’s uh….it’s… I’m sorry.” he sputtered. “For your loss.” Nice, very sympathetic. Brad set aside his own beer and reached out for the invitation. Magnus quickly handed it over and wished there was a second open bottle in front of him. Would it be doubly insensitive to just grab Brad’s? Yes. Yes it would.

 

Brad ran a finger across the edge a few times while reading over the message. His mouth smirked into a sad smile for a moment before disappearing just as quickly. Magnus realized how difficult it could be to find a place for your eyes to be. He settled on the empty bottle in front of him. He had a reason for bringing all of this up. A really good one. An empathetic, heartfelt reason for making his coworker relive the death of his fiancee. Unfortunately Magnus was finding it hard to remember that reason as the pressure in the air continued to grow.

 

“I didn’t think anyone still had one of these.” Brad finally said, his voice a little more quiet than it had been. “Haven’t been able to look at it in awhile myself.” He laid the paper down on the table, the silver spider web etched into a bent up corner reflected the too bright light in the room.  _ You are cordially invited to the wedding of Brad Bradson and Magic Brian. Reception and Festivities to Follow.  _ A date, time, and room number sat atop the bottom border line. Very classy. Very to the point. 

 

“I’m assuming you had questions? Or something to say? He did attack you and your friends, after all.” Brad said flatly while adjusting his glasses. “I can imagine you have quite a few words about that in fact. Go ahead.”

 

“Oh, oh no no. Nothing like that! I mean yeah, the guy was a prick when we met him but uh, I guess. That’s not your fault. I mean, shit let me start over. It’s just…” Magnus took a deep breath. “We did what we thought we had to, at the time. And I wanted to say I’m genuinely sorry for the grief you must’ve gone through.”

 

“Wow...I wasn’t expecting any sort of apology or sympathy but thank you, Magnus.” his face was frozen in disbelief.  A moment passed before Brad had a sharp intake of breath and continued, “I don’t think anyone has, actually. Expressed sympathies. But that’s probably on me, I tend to grieve privately.”

 

“Holy shit,” Magnus replied “No? That’s not ok? NO ONE said anything to you? Not even Lucret-The Director?”

 

“She’s not a very vocally empathetic person. She patted me on the back at the ceremony, I know she cares. She just has more important things to worry about.” Brad returned to his beer.

 

Magnus remembered the ceremony for Boyland, everyone in attendance and giving a mountain of sympathies to Carey and Killian. The open emotion of it all had felt overwhelming. Everyone was grieving over their lost friend, people they hadn’t seen before and haven’t seen since. Magnus couldn’t remember even a word of such an event being held after they had arrived. After Magic Brian’s death.

 

The confusion and slight outrage Magnus was feeling must have been plain on his face because Brad continued, “Heroes and traitors are sent off very differently. I think that’s true no matter where you go. He was, at the end, a traitor. It was just The Director and myself. And the voidfish.” Another short sip. “Funny. I don’t think she realized it, she held it on the same day we were supposed to...well...yeah.” he couldn’t finish.

Magnus sat, mouth agape, unable to process just how cold all of this felt. Everyone he had met and known at the bureau had been nothing but friendly and welcoming to him and the other two reclaimers since they arrived. To think at that exact time Brad was being left to mourn in complete isolation. This other side felt hard to swallow. It tasted too familiar. 

 

“Hey, I, so how are you? How are you holding up? Do you need anything?” 

 

“Magnus come on, you don’t want to sit here and watch Boring Brad from HR sob over his tragic backstory.”

 

Magnus began fidgeting with his wedding band. Brad’s hands were cupped around his near empty bottle, fingers intertwined and bare.

 

“It does get a little easier,” the words were pouring out of his mouth before he had a chance to think them over, “It doesn’t get much better but it does get easier. You can start to think about the nice times without breaking down. You get used to the pain. Having an outlet is always good.”

 

“Right,” Brad forced a small smile, “The nice times. I’m probably the only one who remembers there were nice times.”

 

“Tell me about them.” Magnus demanded, “All I know is the creep who tried to kill us. You loved him, he must’ve had at least one redeeming quality.”

 

Brad considered his thoughts for a few moments before his eyes lit up a little and he gave a short laugh. “He drank beer for me.” 

 

“What?”

 

“Brian hated beer. He couldn’t stand the taste. I tried to make something he’d like. It took four tries before I got it right. Maybe he was pretending to like it so I’d stop, but he still tried every batch. He wanted to like it, for me. That’s who he was, right? He wanted to share in things I liked even if he knew he hadn’t like it before.” Brad’s eyes were getting glassy. “I uh... I let one of his spiders sit on my hand once. He loved those things so much. I certainly tried as well.”

 

Magnus stayed silent, hoping to encourage the reminiscing. 

 

“I know it’s cliche, but he was my other half. He brought out the best in me. He was...he cared about making every day special. He pushed me to live life the way I wanted. He tended to push people like that. He had trouble with boundaries. I don’t think most people saw his influence the way I did. Shit.” Brad stopped to wipe at his eyes. “I’m rambling. Alright, now you.”

 

Magnus blinked. Magnus pointed back at himself.

“Yes, now you tell me,” he gestured towards the wedding band being spun back and forth on dried skin. “About your good times. It’s only fair. Wait hold on, let me grab a few more.” Brad picked up the empty bottles and made his way back to an ice chest on the other side of the room.

 

Magnus averted his eyes to a lantern glowing on the wall. He was right, it was only fair. A fresh bottle of the same stuff was set down in front of him. Magnus took notice of the label this time. Plain, hand drawn picture of a sun smiling.  

 

“She made the sun look like a dim piece of shit.” Magnus started. 

 

Brad nodded. “Romantic.”

 

“The world got a little bit colder when she left it. She was home.” Magnus searched for anything else to say but nothing as true was coming to mind. He felt his face getting warmer and a prickle going up the back of his neck. He hated that feeling. Brad lifted his bottle into the air.

 

“To love.”

 

Magnus returned the motion and clinked the glass.

 

“To love.”

 

He downed his drink too quickly again. He didn’t like remembering how little of her voice he could recall now. How the shape of her face was blurring at the edges. He had a distinct memory of making her laugh. The more the years passed the less sure he was it was her actual laugh. As much as he hated knowing how much of her was slipping from him, he dreaded how much more would be lost the longer he carried on. 

 

There was one last thing bugging at the back of his mind. Something he wanted to ask but knew it was too intrusive. Still, they were both here right now and what better time to bring it up? Magnus wondered if his tolerance was waning.

 

“I have a very personal question. If that’s ok.” he finally forced out.

 

“That depends on the question, Magnus.” Brad replied.

 

“How do you do it? The boyfriends, I mean. How do you go on like that? I cou- I’m not judging you I just can’t understand.” This was a bad question and Magnus felt bad.

 

“Boyfriends?” Brad asked.

 

“Yeah you know like, whatever it is you and Taako are I guess? How do you get intimate again?”  Why did he keep talking.

Brad cocked an eyebrow. “Taako doesn’t think anyone knows.”

 

“Taako is my brother and I love him but he’s dumb as shit, everyone knows about you two.”

 

Brad let out a much needed laugh. Magnus found it infectious.

 

“Well damn, are you going to report our inappropriate relationship to HR?” Brad asked. Magnus snorted.

 

“What, are you trying to tell me you haven’t already?”

 

“That’s fair.... Relationships are important to me. To answer your question, Magnus. I connect easily and fall in love quickly. I think that’s just a byproduct of having a shorter lifespan than others. More impulsivity.” Impulsivity and Brad did not go together very well in Magnus’ mind. “I need that connection. It’s never going to be the same as it was with him but…” Brad shrugged a shoulder and took another sip. “It’s not like I planned to out live him, so here I am.”

 

Brad’s last sentence rang far too loudly in Magnus’ ears where it threatened to stay for a long time. There were no extra thoughts or inappropriate questions to fill the continuing silence. Just the heavy sighs of two men both coming to terms with how desperately broken they both felt. Magnus stared at that peeling label on the bottle until his eyes began to unfocus. 

 

He’d only now realized the drawing wasn’t of a smiling sun.

 

“It gets easier.” Magnus said one more time. Brad nodded lightly.

 

“Here’s hoping.”

**Author's Note:**

> @pandalots on twitter


End file.
